i fucked up

but then i fucked her.

    the identity shifted.
       
        and i became what i always was.

we’re all inflated by time and the time we realize that S/HE is come is the time that we will finally be able to die. for 21 years i have been trying to die with no success. some people were just meant to be dying for eternity and never actually reach their goal of the afterlife or whatever may be beyond.

ETERNAL DEATH

THROUGH

LIVING

she was in my hands, my face, my penis. i had burned her kiss into my breath and snorted her ashes into my lungs, forever cursing myself to speak about her this way.

    but god help me if S/HE ever reads this for then I am doomed.
    maybe.
    or she will dismiss me like she always has done.

“i just wanted to have sex with you.”

    then david should never have fallen in love.

FAIL

failure is like being eunuchified repeatedly, ad nauseum, until my face becomes a vagina. then i am forced to have sex with my own amputated genitals. very unpleasant thing, i must say.

“Listen to me, bitch! I’m Charlie Kaufman!”

who is this jacob steep?
    the male part of the nilotic.
that’s all?
    yeah, I guess.
what’s his relationship to alice?
    they were lovers.
oh really?
    mm-hmm.
i think you have your facts mixed up.
    what do you mean?
first off: which one is real, alice or jacob?
    REAL? what?
which one is an ACTUAL person?
   

this is REAL

alice and jacob
sherry and david

what about the nilotic?
    i dunno. he’s just a lonely fucker.



                who is this oscar rosas?