alice (the poem)

When I was a baby, I was born through the looking glass
What it is, it wouldn’t be and I sink into the grass
I looked up at the sky and dreamt of the Land of Wonder
Falling through the glass, my world was torn asunder
I thought I was Lewis Carroll, but I am really Alice
Remembering the field they took me to, I’m feeling the malice
Because they raped me again and again and flashed their cameras
Clouds flash, time-lapse, and white knights help me forget about the love
Eat me, Drink me, adapting to where I need to go, I’m grabbing the gloves
But the fan makes me shrink to the size of a child
I’ve become the little girl, written my fate and styled
The experience to that of a trip
Sip, sip this and lick the tip
Of the tea cup that flies with the butter
He stuttered, and I was his dream child
And being a pornographer could make him seem wild
But I understand this and what he was about
I love him nonetheless, so there’s no need to shout

I just wish to kiss the Mad Hatter
The curiouser and curiouser doesn’t really matter
Since the March Hare be my pet
Chess set is my home but I’m caught in the net
Of hookah, dreams, and caterpillar lies
Time sighs in the dust, forget all my tries
To educate the Tweedles, it just seems unwise
To outrun the Jabberwocky on his own terrain
I’ll lead it to the Queen cause she’s become a pain
In my face, this isn’t a race to the other side of the board
But if you play by the rules, there’s no exit of your own accord

Daddy, do you remember when I wore that yellow dress for you?
It is true that you hated me, baited me, created me from all that’s new
Come true, my dreams, please, I beg you for hallucinations
Sensations up my spine and remind me of a world of situations
Distractions from a life unlived, revived and contrived
From stories dug up from long ago
You wrote me, these are the seeds that I sow
And now and then I’ll still be your little girl
Throw me down the rabbit hole and let the colors swirl

alice (the song)

this pattern is this (a-dolf)

i watch the tv static for a pattern. an answer to my problems.
slowly a face emerges out of the scrambling dots and horrid screeching.

hitler

gimme a CUT

cornelius is here

David: Cornelius, are you there?

no answer

David: Who would ever read this?
Cornelius: I’m not there.
Adelle Kuntz: I just noticed some video you made is tagged as a video of me. Can you un-tag me because I can't find a way to delete it from my page?
David: Okay, but you'll still be tagged in spirit... Oh, yeah, and you're name's still in it lol :)
Adelle Kuntz: Ha! I didn't even realize I was mentioned. Never watched past the first min. lol.
David: Yeah, not many people ever watch/listen to/read the things I create anyway.
Sherry Nelson: Well as long as you keep thinking that's a talent, I don't see why you're complaining. :)
David: I love you more :D

NO LETTER AT THIS TIME

attached is this book

dear sherry,
    attached is this book

dear sherry,
    i don’t feel i owe you any apology.

dear sherry,
    i’m sorry for this book.

dear alice,
    i’m sorry i fucked you.

i fucked up

but then i fucked her.

    the identity shifted.
       
        and i became what i always was.

we’re all inflated by time and the time we realize that S/HE is come is the time that we will finally be able to die. for 21 years i have been trying to die with no success. some people were just meant to be dying for eternity and never actually reach their goal of the afterlife or whatever may be beyond.

ETERNAL DEATH

THROUGH

LIVING

she was in my hands, my face, my penis. i had burned her kiss into my breath and snorted her ashes into my lungs, forever cursing myself to speak about her this way.

    but god help me if S/HE ever reads this for then I am doomed.
    maybe.
    or she will dismiss me like she always has done.

“i just wanted to have sex with you.”

    then david should never have fallen in love.

FAIL

failure is like being eunuchified repeatedly, ad nauseum, until my face becomes a vagina. then i am forced to have sex with my own amputated genitals. very unpleasant thing, i must say.

“Listen to me, bitch! I’m Charlie Kaufman!”

who is this jacob steep?
    the male part of the nilotic.
that’s all?
    yeah, I guess.
what’s his relationship to alice?
    they were lovers.
oh really?
    mm-hmm.
i think you have your facts mixed up.
    what do you mean?
first off: which one is real, alice or jacob?
    REAL? what?
which one is an ACTUAL person?
   

this is REAL

alice and jacob
sherry and david

what about the nilotic?
    i dunno. he’s just a lonely fucker.



                who is this oscar rosas?